wedding related- me against his sisters?
my fiance has 5 sisters and i niece. i wanted only my two sisters and my best friend as brides maids ( my two sisters as my maids of honor) now my fiance says it would only be right to have his 5 sisters and his niece. his mother even put me on the spot by asking me. his sisters say " he’s our only bro, so we want and should be your brides maids." dude after them its gonna be 9 total brides maids. thats ridiculous. the major problem is my grandmother is making my wedding dress, my veil, and the ring pillow, and my sisters and bf’s dresses, and my flower girls. my wedding is in a year, so it would be impossible to make all those dresses. my dress has intricate beading and lace. if im gonna have his sisters and niece as brides maids, they are gonna have to buy them. ( the dress i picked to get made is from davids bridal mag) i dont want them as my BM’s. i like them and all but your bridesmaids should be ppl u have known for years, who have helped u thru bad and good times. ppl u love.
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Tell them NO. Tell your fiance NO. They are not part of YOUR chosen bridal party and you don’t have to make them happy. They can be bridesmaids at each others weddings. I can’t tell you how rude I think it is for people, even soon to be relatives, to impose on the wedding plans. It is not their wedding. The fact that some people include sisters of the groom is their CHOICE.
You should allow the sister’s as bridesmaids. It is your duty to your husband.
Tell him you want all your brothers and nephews and uncles as groomsmen then. I totally agree with you, 9 is rediculous and you have to draw a line somewhere. Your fiance should understand your feelings on this. You choose the bridesmaids, he chooses the groomsmen. That is how it works. His sisters can play other roles in the wedding.
There is no law that says that one’s attendants must be of one’s gender. If your fiance wants his sisters in the wedding, why not have them on HIS side as his attendants? I’ve seen many cases where there are "groomswomen" and "bridesmen" when the closest friends of the couple are the opposite gender.
i say the more the merrier….. its a special day for the both of you…. so have fun….
Get original and creative. Find a way to include them, but don’t call them bridesmaids. Maybe they could do a group reading, for which they could all purchase simple dresses, and they could stand during the ceremony, without being with your bridesmaids.
Don’t let a little issue like this get under your skin. It’s a rough way to start a marriage. Ask your pastor for ideas on how to include them, too.
That is crazy. There is no law that says every female relative of your fiance has to be a BM. Have the girls you want in your wedding to be there, and have his sisters have other roles. If he wants them in the wedding they can all be his groomswomen.
I agree with you 100% but if it’s going to cause issues with your new family it might be worth giving in. Or suggesting that they stand on your husband’s side. Getting married and having a basically a whole new family is hard enough without going into it with people having hurt feelings. I understand why you don’t want them, but sometimes in marriage it’s not about what you want. You’ll get to know these new sisters as time goes on and hopefully you’ll have a good relationship with them.
As long as the dresses can be purchased from David’s and it’s not going to kill you to have a HUGE wedding party, it might just be better to give in. Have your three stand closest to you and call them the Maids (or matrons – whichever) of Honor and the rest Bride’s Maids. It’s no fun giving in, but you’ve gotta pick your battles, is this one really worth fighting over?
you should not give in and don’t let them be bridesmaids. I’m not trying to be mean to them but the brides maids are always the brides friends and sisters, its never been a automatic thing for the grooms sisters at all. my fiance’s sister thinks she should be also, she has never been nice to me and even her brother doesn’t actually want her at the wedding at all, but her mother is getting really pushy about it (he is the only son also), but i have said NO i have chosen already and that’s how it is, no offense but no! you have a great excuse, your grandmother is putting in a HUGE effort (BTW: go granny, she’s really awsome to do all that for you!) and even if they buy their dresses that takes away the point of your grandmother doing all the dresses doesn’t it? i would just say no, it wont cause problems forever, don’t give in or they will walk all over you forever (trust me!) good luck
my mother is a beautiful seamstress and has done wedding dresses for family members it is a lot of work and most people do not comprehend the amount of time that gos in to some thing like this I would recommend that you have them be his attendants and get there own black dresses that will match the tuxedos then maybe you could just make sashes in the color of the guys ties it would be way easier and less expensive good luck I know it often seams like it starts be about every one El’s
I only had my sister & bf as my BM’s. DH has 2 sisters & neither were in my wedding. Lucky for me, they didn’t raise a stink about being BM’s as they knew I really wasn’t interested in having a "bridal army."
I did however have corsages & a hand written note that I gave them prior to the ceremony.
i understand where you are coming from. but now you have to consider his family. Maybe you should let 2 of them be bridesmaids and include the other 3 in your wedding somewhere. Maybe a hostess or ushers. Both of you will be satisfied, you because you dont have all of them as bridesmaids and him because u are including them in the wedding. Maybe not as bridesmaid, but they are included. Don’t just say that you don’t want them in the wedding because that’s not being fair to him and what he want. most of the wedding is going to be based on your decisions. Compromise, let him have just a little say so, don’t make him feel its all about you (which it is) but don’t make him feel like it. Maybe the niece can be a Jr bride or something. As far as the dress i don’t see where making 2 more would hurt. the others can get a different dress purchased somewhere else. Compromise, is the key. I wish you all the best in your future together
i agree with you, 9 is ridiculous and they are not your close friends or family. stand up to them now cuz 5 sisters is gonna be a lot to deal with throughout your marriage!
When you figure that the bridal party etiquette is one [bridesmaid] per 50 guests. Are you having 450 guests? I doubt it.
You’re absolutely right that you get to choose your own bridesmaids. Sisters/other family of the groom are only invited at the bride’s request. Stand your ground. You have the best reasons on your side, so don’t let them push you around.
I completely agree with Kristen C. Sometimes it’s better to suck it up. Maybe have them BUY their dresses at David’s Bridal… maybe the same style in a coordinating color. Or a different style in the same color… or something like that. As previously stated, it’s better not to start off the marriage with hurt feelings. You don’t want to have to constantly fight that battle later. On other matters in the future it could be 5 of them against one you.
I’m of the opinion that siblings of both the bride and groom should be in the wedding.
It is personal preference of the couple as to which side of the wedding party they stand on (bride’s or groom’s). Personally, I like keeping the bridesmaids as female and the groomsmen as men. BUT that shouldn’t stop others from having groomswomen and bridesmen if they want.
I think the niece should be cut but you should have his sisters in the wedding party (either as your bridesmaids or his groomswomen). They are going to become your sisters-in-law after you say ‘i do’.
While I’m sure people are going to disagree with me on this, its not about who is closest to the bride alone – - its about who is closest to the COUPLE so if his sisters are close to him, they deserve to be in the wedding party.
I get along with my fiance’s sisters just fine but I’ve only known them a bit less than my fiance. I wouldn’t think of any better way to have my wedding party than to include his sisters as well as my own in our wedding party. Its the day we all legally become family and I want them there, too!
I can understand the sisters wanting to be in the wedding, but why the niece?
This will be hard, but stand your ground on not having them. Instead, make sure each one has a specific job on the day of the wedding.
Somebody can be in charge of programs, somebody for flowers and corsages, one to make sure everything stays on time, one to initiate the cake cutting…stuff like that.
tell way you feel
You don’t need to have them in your wedding party and shouldn’t feel guilty at all! Unless you have close, personal relationships with each of them, then why have them all in your party! You may be able to find other ways to include them in readings, as ushers, handing out programs or rice… You can have corsages for them to wear at the wedding so they stand out. They should understand you don’t want such a large wedding party. If your fiance is his sisters only brother, then THEY should ask HIM to be in their weddings.
Hi. I agree with you. I think it would be different (and hopefully you agree) IF your fiance had 1 or 2 sisters. They you could include them. But 5 AND a niece?
Does he have 1 or 2 sisters that he is more close to? Could they do something else? Hand out programs? Do a reading? That way they would be included somewhat.
But, you will need to be a firm. I think a bridal party with 9 is ridiculous.
Okay I do think 9 bride’s maids are a bit much, however if it’ll keep the peace….
..just make it quite clear to ALL the maids their outfits, shoes, hair & make-up are THEIR financial responsibility as you cannot afford to pay for all 9 of ‘em…and it would be all 9 or none of ‘em to be fair……..
Make your bf & sister co-maids of honor and the other gals bride’s maids…..if their dresses are slightly dif, as long as the complement the co- MOH’s it’ll work…..
..and if they decide they can’t afford to participate…oh well…..good luck.
I recently argued with fiancee over the same matter. He wants his three sisters in the wedding as my bridesmaids, when I already have my sister and four cousins, with whom I am very close. I have met his sisters twice, and barely spoken with any of them. They also fight constantly, and all throw fits when they don’t get what they want, even though they are grow up.
What guys tend to not realize is brides spend A LOT of time with their bridal parties. While you are not going dress shopping, you will still have to meet to try the dresses on. You may also want to meet with your bridesmaids to help you with other wedding related decisions. And on the wedding day the bride spends a few hours beforehand with her bridesmaids helping her get ready. Having a ton of bridesmaids will only make these times more stressful for the bride. Your groom won’t have to put up with them that day, you will. You will want women who care about you, know you well, and can help you relax. Invite your soon-to-be sister-in-laws to the bachelorette party, and find some other way they can be part of the wedding, like directing the guests, asking them to sign the autograph book, or even reading something special to you and your groom during the service. But stand up for yourself, this day is supposed to be a happy one, and not cause you stress beforehand. Enjoy and have a wonderful day and marriage!